I was never really taught how to pray. I was taught that I prayed “wrong” in their eyes. Or that God didn’t work a certain way. But I believe that God can work any way that he wants.
But here I am, as a grown woman, a wife, a mother, a believer; and I struggle with what to say. To the one who knows that shadows of my heart. It’s silly when I think about it.
Being told that you are doing something wrong definitely makes it challenging and intimidating to try and do it in front of people that you care about and respect. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to pray in front of my family or friends, it was because I was so worried that they would judge me for how I prayed. Not because of what I prayed about. I still struggle with it.
I long to teach my boys (and future children) how to pray. How to talk to God without fear or second thought of what others might think. To talk to him like a Father, yet respect Him like a King.
I will have to lead them by example. I will have to teach them, while I am still learning.
I am not saying that as a disrespect to my husband. My husband is the head of our house in every way possible. Yet, he is gone for whole days (he works 12 hours shifts, gone from 7:30am till 8:15pm, basically missing whole days with the boys) Which means, I am the one that my children see constantly. I am the one they will have to learn from.
It terrifies me.
Awhile back, I had the amazing privilege of going to a Beth Moore conference (if you have the opportunity to go, GO!!). I learned so much. While I was there, I bought a TON of books/cd guides. (I have a slight problem when it comes to books. I want them ALL!) One that I bought is “Lord teach me to pray workbook” by Kay Arthur. With all the craziness of the summer, I have yet to crack it open. But that is going to change, and I can’t wait.
For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
Proverbs 2:10
I started bible study a year ago, but this past spring, the table leader asked me to start us off in prayer at the conclusion of the night. I sat there, completely speechless, and fumbled over my words. I was trying to say “No, I can’t. I don’t feel comfortable” but couldn’t get anything out. She took over for me (and later apologized for putting me on the spot). But another night we discussed it, and I said I’m just not comfortable, at all, praying out loud. I feel odd when I have to do it at dinner (when the hubby is not home) and Aubrey is only 10 months. I completely feel your pain. Er, conflict/struggle. As long as your teaching your sons there’s no WRONG way to pray, you’re doing an amazing thing
This is something my husband and I have been talking about more and more now that our oldest is just over two. I say something is better than nothing. It is difficult to start, especially if you / or someone believes they are doing it wrong. I come from a Catholic upbringing, but I don’t practice that anymore, so as long as you keep the faith!