Molly’s birth was everything I had hoped it would be.
It was the first labour that I ever had that started and continued on it’s own.
With Teagan I was induced. With Arlo I started on my own, and then stalled on my own…so I was induced again.
With Molly, I started on my own, and continued on my own.
Our labour started on Saturday. I didn’t believe that it was early labour, as I had had contractions and back pain for WEEKS.
So much so that my doula came over a week before and showed me some ways to labour and rock Molly into position.
I did a ton of cat cow yoga position, lots of squatting, lots of rocking my hips back and forth.
Back to Saturday.
Rich was scheduled to work nights that night, and since we weren’t sure if it really was labour or not we decided we should walk walk walk.
So we walked and walked and walked. I had irregular contractions but INSANE back pain.
Nothing that made me think Rich should stay home, so he went to work and I continued to try and get the labour going.
The contractions started to get stronger, and by ten that night I decided to text our midwife and see what she had to say.
We decided to head to the hospital around midnight. NOT before throwing the most epic tantrum, as I did NOT want to go to our local hospital.
I wanted to head to our midwife and get the baby out.
I was completely irrational, looking back. But I was so terrified that they would tell me I wasn’t in labour and that I had to go home.
We arrived at the hospital at one in the morning, and after getting all settled into our room, we were left to labour.
At this point I decided I didn’t want to be checked until later. I knew that if I was only a few centimeters dilated I would lose hope and decide to get drugs/induced.
(Rich, my mom, my midwife and my doula were amazing at helping me labour)
Early Sunday morning we decided that we should all try and rest for a little bit, and see if the labour would get more intense.
If it didn’t we would look into inducing me and get things going.
Thankfully labour continued and I didn’t have to be induced.
Our midwife was amazing, I have such love and respect for her, when things were sort of slowing down or not progressing as fast as we had hoped she sat us down and had a heart to heart.
She asked what was holding me back. I bawled, and bawled. I was terrified that they would send me home.
After that we decided that labouring in the tub might relax me enough to let things progress.
And it did.
I laboured in the tub for a couple hours. (I think. The timeline is a little fuzzy in my head)
It was the only time I listened to my labour playlist, but it sure helped me focus through the insane back labour.
After labouring in the tub, we decided to head back to our room and see where I was at.
I was at a five.
I was so disappointed in my body. I was sure that I would have been farther than that.
After my midwife checked me, I needed to pee. Badly.
Random note, contractions hurt more when you have a full bladder.
While in the washroom I had the worst contraction ever (up to that point). I cried, Rich came and we had a little pow wow in the washroom. (It was maybe 2:45pm at this point)
I told him I couldn’t do it anymore (transition much?) and that I needed the drugs. I was done. I was heartbroken, disappointed in my body and convinced that I had hours (maybe even days) left.
He was amazing. Seriously best support ever.
Walking back to the bed the contractions became insane.
I told our midwife that I wanted the drugs, and I wanted them NOW!
We decided to try sterile water injections instead of jumping straight to drugs. We thought that maybe the injections would help ease some of the insane back labour that I was having.
WHICH WAS DUE TO MOLLY HAVING HER HAND ON HER HEAD. When my midwife did check me, she felt Molly’s hand before she felt her head.
While the injections didn’t take the pain away, it definitely did help.
After the injections my midwife checked me. This is where I misunderstood what happened. I thought my midwife said that I was still at a five.
After checking me, I was asked if I wanted the birth pool filled up, or if I would like to push.
To which I said “I can push?!” I cried. Then I asked how long it would take to fill the tub.
10-15 minutes. Or I could get her out right then and there.
I WANTED HER OUT.
Our midwife asked if I wanted my water broken, or left intact. I chose for her to break it. And oh, the relief.
It was short-lived.
So I chose to push.
Right there, on all fours.
I cried. Screamed that I couldn’t do it. Moaned and groaned. “Bellow like a cow, don’t buzz like a bee.” is what my doula kept reminding me.
Finally after a few of the most painful moments ever, I pushed her out.
Rich caught her. He loves the fact that he was the first person to hold her.
He passed her to me, and it was love at first sight.
It was amazing.
For the first time ever, I was able to hold my baby for as long as I wanted. No one took her away, we bonded.
We nursed. We snuggled. It was a dream come true.
We spent the night at the hospital, and then we were discharged the next day.
The first word that I think of when I think of Molly’s birth, is “healing”.
Molly was my healing birth.
I am so thankful for the wonderful support system that we had, and treasure all of the moments in my heart forever.